If you were buying a used car from the candidates…

If you were buying a used car from the candidates…

When John F. Kennedy ran against Richard Nixon in the US, the defining question aimed at Nixon’s character was, ‘would you buy a used car from this man?’

If you were buying a used car from the Presidentiables in our country, this is how it would be.

1) Noynoy—  It is Philippine made and the model is EDSA People Power edition. It IS iconic.  The car is 24 years old, has knocks here and there. Does not look impressive at first glance but gets better when you see the features up close. Very steady handling. Once in a while, you need people (power) to push it though. His mom and dad used to drive it. It’s colored yellow!  It is a bit battered but still good for the long haul. It has a GPS and navigation system in case you get lost. It will always point you to the Right Way. All documents are certified as real.

2) Villar— The car is an orange-colored sleek Cadillac with everything on it. It is heavily advertised in all classified ads, billboards and even TV and radio. It claims it can  traverse  ‘rivers of garbage’.  But the seller will not tell you that it is way too overpriced (almost 6 times) for what it’s worth. And the registration may be dubious according to some people who have bought other cars from him. But it has stickers to many exits on C5 that will let you pass for free. And you get free tickets to Wowowee.

3) Gibo— The green colored car was abandoned and was severely affected by the Ondoy flood. It  was also stalled , buried and recovered by backhoe beside a highway in Maguindanao. And the owner who used to drive it was an illegally licensed  woman midget who liked stepping on the gas and pushing it to strained limits. But Gibo is a good salesman and may even  dazzle you into buying it.

4) ERAP- Yes, it’s the same best seller model car that was recalled, impounded and condemned a few years back because of severe defects. But it’s suppose to be OK again now, the owner claims. It’s registration which was confiscated before was restored by the same  midget woman with the illegally obtained license who strained Gibo’s car!

5)  Gordon—The car makes an impressively loud roaring sports car sound but doesn’t go far for some reason. They say it  handles quite well on MMDA U turns.

6) Brother Eddie— It ran a race before but finished 3rd. It’s owner says it runs with hardly any gas. By the grace of God, it runs!

7) Jamby— Says it can outrun the orange Cadillac. It’s a hybrid. It’s way, way, way at the end of the car parking lot right now.

8) Nicky Perlas— Has many features that can dazzle. It’s a prototype car parked in the showroom. Not road tested. It’s practically brand new but  might never be driven, actually.

9) JC—  Hardly used and only for very short trips. Nice and clean with Shaldan air freshener. Has a Sto. Nino on dashboard, and a rosary hanging on rear view mirror. They took out the back seat so you can’t engage in hanky-panky! And for good luck, it is blessed by two Bishops!

The ProPinoy Project

  • Nakagawa na ba siya ng kalsada? check!
    Dumaan ba ito sa kanyang mga subdivision?_______

    • maczoombie

      dumaan sa HL yung interchange

  • I will vote a person who is not coming from the system, I will vote for a person who will restore righteousness and morality in the government…Matauhan na sana tayong lahat.

  • Rene Ramos

    There are too many candidates to choose from but as voters we have to be more wise this time in choosing the” one” who will run our beloved country! It has been proven in the past elections that if we choose the wrong leader all the people will always suffer the consequences for the wrong decisions we made. Let us look at some guidelines that God gave in choosing a leader for any nation. In I Samuel 16:1-13, The Lord said to Samuel, Do not consider his appearance or his height,for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.Man looks at the outward appearance,but the Lord looks at the heart. Your right decision in choosing our leader will lead to a good peaceful living in our country.. May God bless us all…

  • maria

    let us not forget history and the corruption during the aquino era…the kamaganak, inc……noynoy? walang bahid? selective memory ang ginagamit ninyo….Gising! the truth hurts, but its the truth……….

    • kgd_tdp

      maria.. will you please give us details about that kamaganak, inc.. .it’s long been heard but nothing really seem true about it… para naman macheck natin kung totoo.. kung sakaling wala.. di kaya nagiging tsismosa ka lang? in fairness to everyone… let’s discuss something with substance… hindi yung HAKAhaka lang… I’m for the good of this country.. so let’s help each other…

      • maczoombie

        there is a lot of historical fact in internet, if youa re really interested in kamaganak inc go and google it, just type hacienda luisita you can find a lot.

  • MAN is EVIL and a LIAR….
    MAN+EVIL+LIAR…
    MANE..VIL..LIAR…
    MANE VILLIAR..
    MANNY VILLAR! omg!

  • allan

    i’ll go for the one that is most likely not to commit corruption.. it would be noynoy.

    • maczoombie

      you do not know the meaning of corruption.

  • Lourdes

    ewan ko sa yo! maganda ang drama mo basta ako gibo all the way!!