humor

Let’s help Manny Pacquiao ban Condoms in the Philippines!

Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao says “Let’s ban condoms!” The article pointed out what Pacquiao told Congress, as the honorable representative from Sarangani.

Pacman believes, “Go out, and multiply!”

LISTEN To him!

The greatest fighter of our generation can not be wrong.

Can you not see that Pacquiao is simply protecting the integrity, and the name of the Filipino Macho? The virile seed of the Filipino male will not, and should not be denied! Why go against decades, and decades of truth? How will we know who the wimps that can’t father a child?

Besides, have you worn a condom?

Five seconds into it, and BOOM!

Hassle to cap, you know?

Who has time to cap when its ready to rumble?!

Besides, what Filipino man is going to let women take charge?

Women’s right to choose.

Yeah, right.

Give women a choice on the matter, and they’ll do crazy, crazy things! They’ll only screw things up. Just look at that Pacquiao mug. And listen to that voice! Seriously, what voodoo does he have?

Women should cook dinner.

Do laundry.

Take care of the kids.

“Aaahh,” this iced cold San Mig is just heaven you know? No other place on Earth has it this good.

“What?” Every Filipino male puts his feet up and relaxes after a hard, long day playing tong its.

Jeez, what? Pinoy men have to work?

Ladies, one word: “Cowgirl.”

That’s what we have women for! After they have our kids, Go forth! Fly! Be a nurse! Be a caregiver! That’s what they’re good for!

Come on. These pro-RH are sissy liberals. They are atheists who are irresponsible, like I dunno, Fr. Bernas. Am I right?

Let’s ask Oscar Cruz. He’s been keeping it in his pants for decades. I mean, the libido of the Filipino male trapped by that collar? Geez, man. Can you imagine? Can you last a day without sex?

The United States Conference Catholic Bishops recently concluded a study examining the reason for all these sex abuse scandals. You know who to blame? It’s the hippies!

So yeah, Manuel Buencamino, “It’s all about sex.” If Oscar Cruz can hold it, everyone should! Am I right? Am I?

These liberals just want government to spend and waste more money feeding the Medical and pharmaceutical industries.

Am I right?

Screw the UN and their bleeding heart lies that HIV and AIDS could be prevented by good sexual and reproductive health programs, and condom programming.

SCREW them!

George Bush did when he invaded Iraq. Who is the UN to be ramming these liberal ideas of Female Condoms? Huh? WHO?

Poverty can’t be cured by Reproductive Health. Prostitution and gambling can. Smart, and sexy Belle de Jour made a life out of being a call girl, right? We should get more Filipinas to do that. And oh, yeah, more kids also mean more chances of one of them succeeding so you know, they can feed the rest of the family.

So yeah, all this talk about Reproductive Health is hogwash. Pacman is right. We should stand by our national hero who is only protecting the good name of the Filipino macho.

And Oscar Cruz?

No, Oscar Cruz isn’t a bitter old man past his prime. Oscar Cruz and the CBCP are not tired old men living in the dark ages, and blinded by religious intolerance. They are not. Archbishop Oscar Cruz for example is filled with Wisdom, and experience having kept it in his pants all these years. He knows stuff, man. He knows!

All this talk about the RH Bill isn’t the sign of the times. No, this isn’t because the Church has failed in its moral teaching. It isn’t that at all. It is about protecting the virile Filipino man everywhere. It is about control. So let’s help Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao and Oscar Cruz to ban condoms in the Philippines because can two patriotic Filipinos like these gentlemen be wrong?

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